Pop Culture’s Most Annoying Robots (GALLERY)

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Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOT:

Rosey The Robot

SHOW:The Jetsons

ARGH

THAT VOICE

IS WORSE THAN MECHANICAL FINGERNAILS ON A VIRTUAL CHALKBOARD! If and when scientists ever decide to get their shit together and start making us some god damn robot maids, we hope they have the common sense to spend a few extra minutes beta-testing their voice modulation units before they release a monster like this into the world.

Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOT:

Johnny 5

MOVIE:Short Circuit

"Who's Johnny?", she said. We wish we didn't know. We wish we didn't know.

Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOTS:

David (Haley Joel Osment) and Gigolo Joe (Jude Law)

FILM:
A.I. Artificial Intelligence

We don't blame that lady who dropped her cloying OsmentBot™ off by the side of the road in the slightest; we would have done exactly the same thing! And don't get us started on Gigolo Joe, robot prostitute. We're glad they both drowned! (At least, we

hope

that's what happened to them. We fell asleep before this garbagefest ended.)

Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOT:

Dot Matrix (voiced by Joan Rivers)

MOVIE:Spaceballs

Can we tawwwk? NO. We cannot. In fact, we rue the day that whoever programmed you gave you the power of speech. (All apologies to the late Joan Rivers, natch.)

Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOT:

ED-209

MOVIE:Robocop

ED-209 is the robot equivalent of that meathead at the gym who clearly does too many 'roids, huffs and puffs around if you dare get on his machine, and grosses you out in the shower with his backne. In short, a total A-hole.

Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOT:

Twiki (voiced by Mel Blanc)

SHOW:Buck Rogers In The 25th Century

The only thing more annoying than Twiki's pageboy haircut is his (its?) insistence on starting every single god damn sentence that comes out of his (its?) mouth with

"Biddi-biddi-biddi-biddi!"

Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOT:

Andrew Martin (Robin Williams)

MOVIE:Bicentennial Man

No offense to the late Robin Williams but he was pretty much the last man on Earth that we'd want to use as a facial model if we were designing a robot.

Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOT:

Ash (Ian Holm)

MOVIE:Alien

This stealth robot sold out the entire crew of the Nostradamus in favor of the titular alien. Nothing made me happier than seeing him

spit up that white milk/blood stuff

. What an Ash-hole!

Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOT:

Gunslinger (Yul Brenner)

MOVIE:Westworld

You thought the Terminator was a relentless, single-minded, virtually indestructible assassin? Well, this guy is all that AND does a killer version of

"Shall We Dance"

.

Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOT:

Johnny Cab

MOVIE:Total Recall

Voice-recognition software isn't all it's cracked up to be, as the annoyingly literal

Johnny Cab

proved in the original

Total Recall

. The scary thing is this is exactly what that dumb Google car is going to end up being like. NO THANKS!

ROBOT:

Brobot

SHOW:Jimmy Neutron

Just look at this jag-off and tell me, even if you don't recognize him, that you're not annoyed.

ROBOT:

Vicki (Tiffany Brissette)

SHOW:Small Wonder

It's a Small Wonder the Lawson family didn't choke out V.I.C.I. within five minutes of her walking in the door the first time.

Photo: Everett Collection

ROBOTS:

C-3PO and R2-D2

MOVIES:

The

Star Wars

Saga

Look at these creepers! It's like, why don't you leave Anakin and Natalie Portman alone so they can bone, you Peeping Tombots! The context of this single photo aside, has there ever been a pair of more frustrating robots? C-3PO is a whiny wuss who's always slowing everyone down, and R2 just never really got the whole "communication" thing. Can someone hook me up with Boba Fett's LinkedIN Page? I've been saving up my money and want to put a price on the heads of these two electronic jabronis.

Photo: Everett Collection

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