Three months after Lindsay Lohan was arrested for allegedly punching fortune teller Tiffany Mitchell in a Chelsea club, prosecutors have yet to draft a criminal complaint or set a court date, The Post has learned.
"Enough is enough," Lohan lawyer Mark Jay Heller griped. "It's apparent they have no case."
Mitchell's lawyer, Gloria Allred, said, "To my knowledge, this case is still under investigation."
Church leaders irked by a group of cross-dressers staging a racy brunch show next to their Midtown house of worship say it's not such a drag after all.
The Rev. Richard Baker of St. Malachy's Catholic Church on 49th Street stepped back from his demands that Lillie's restaurant stop the show, sources said, in a peacemaking conference call in which he agreed to go along with their "Breakfast at Epiphany's" brunch and the cross-dressers agreed to cancel their protest outside the church.
Epiphany Get Paid, the drag queen who planned the protest, sang at the brunch as planned yesterday.
"It was a misunderstanding," she said.
Staffers from City Council Speaker Christine Quinn's office mediated the conference call.
Baker didn't return requests for comment by press time.
Damian Wayne — the son of Bruce Wayne and the latest hero to assume the mantle of Robin — has a heart-to-heart with fellow superhero Nightwing before his final, and ultimately fatal, battle in the pages of "Batman Incorporated" No. 8, out Wednesday.
Robin the Boy Wonder, Batman's aide-de-camp, will be killed battling a brutal enemy in a comic book published Wednesday.
The shocking demise of the Dark Knight's sidekick will first appear in issue No. 8 of the offshoot title "Batman Incorporated," but the aftermath of his death will ripple throughout the DC Comics universe, the publisher confirmed exclusively to The Post.
"He saves the world. He does his job as Robin," writer Grant Morrison said. "He dies an absolute hero."
Robin — a k a Damian Wayne, the 10-year-old son of Bruce Wayne — is slain fighting a hulking assassin who happens to be, in true comic-book form, a "brother" cloned from his genetic material.
And — SPOILER ALERT ! — unlike all the times he has swooped in at the last minute, Batman arrives too late to save his protégé.
A number of heroes have filled the role of Robin over the decades, including the first and best known, Dick Grayson, introduced in 1940.
PHOTOS: ROBIN THROUGH THE YEARS
The latest Robin, however, was the brilliant and caustic Damian, the illegitimate son of billionaire Bruce Wayne and Talia, the beautiful daughter of one of his deadliest enemies, Ra's al Ghul.
Morrison, one of the industry's top talents, brings an adult perspective to the grim tale.
Robin's death, he said, will illustrate how parents lose sight of their kids when they fight.
"It's all about the family and the family going to hell," said Morrison, who threw in elements of his own parents' divorce. "The two adults in the story are both culpable. The kid's the good guy."
Morrison, who brought Damian to the forefront in 2006, said he had created a full arc for the character, who grew from a violent, fledgling assassin to a selfless leader.
"What we did was turn this little monster into a superhero," he said. "He's a little brat, but he's a super-brat."
Damian isn't the first Robin to die, but he's the first to die at the height of his popularity with fans.
In 1988, a few years after Grayson moved on, the next Robin — the disliked, surly Jason Todd — was slain by the Joker after an infamous phone poll let fans choose whether the teen should be killed off.
Todd was resurrected in 2005.
So who knows if Damian will stay dead, or if a new Boy (or perhaps Girl) Wonder will take his place.
Noted Morrison: "You can never say never in a comic book . . . Batman will ultimately always have a partner."
Batman Incorporated No. 8 preview by New York Post
ABC
Jimmy Kimmel and Jessica Chastain appear in "Movie: The Movie: 2V."
When in doubt, out-sex the opposition.
Gratuitous celebrity cameos don't hurt, either.
Those are the overriding themes of "Movie: The Movie: 2V," a seven-minute trailer presented on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" following Sunday's Academy Awards.
Last year's original "Movie: The Movie," which garnered 20 million YouTube views, involves an asteroid threatening the earth. This time it's an army of sexy zombies, vampires, mummies and even Leprechauns - a sexpocalypse, if you will.
"2V" shows a crack team of superheroes uniting to fight the hoard, Avengers-style. Actress Jessica Chastain provided intelligence. Kimmel channeled his inner Fury with two (two!) eye-patches, but it wasn't enough to get the attention of Madame President (Oprah Winfrey, too busy to take Jimmy's call).
"She's probably busy … at work, the country and everything," Kimmel said to Chastain.
"Yeah."
Gerard Butler personified the "Taken" role, threatening the enemy in phone snipes and later using a flame-thrower with a baby strapped to his chest.
John Krasinski watched his parents get shot, got splashed with acid and bitten by a radioactive cocktail shrimp before turning into "The Shrimp," a shrimp-human hybrid that fights evil.
Bradley Cooper played an inspirational teacher at a low-income public school.
"I'm not giving up on these kids," the teacher said, at which point one of the children spit in his face.
"Gonna take more than that," he responded.
Chris Rock voiced a skateboarding CGI gopher who, as Kimmel described it, has "the voice of a black person, obviously written by a white person."
So the team – gophers, teachers, shrimp and all – fought the sexy beasts. Singer Bruno Mars joined the squad, preaching a message of love, trying to subdue the zombies with a serenade.
"Baby it's the love that we share," he sang before the crowd tackled him, turning him into a zombie himself, his lips blackened, his face puffy.
"Wassup?" Zombie Bruno Mars said, still a charmer in his undead state.
ABC
"Movie: The Movie: 2V" features an army of sexy vampires, zombies and mummies.
Similarly to the original, "2V" features a plethora of irreverent celebrity cameos that neither furthered the trailer's plot or served any inherent purpose other than to showcase stars in ridiculous circumstances.
Rachel Weisz appeared as a woman aroused and horrified by the creatures.
Bryan Cranston made a cameo as an armless piano-playing savant. Topher Grace was a Leprechaun. Salma Hayek played a nurse – and her dying male patient – in a "blatant attempt to win an Academy Award."
Kimmel 'adversary' Matt Damon even got in on the action, eating a big, imaginary sandwich in a motion-capture suit (Faster! Faster!) until he realized what his gestures looked like, and then he scowled and walked away, tricked again.
But through all the sandwich-eating and piano face-plants, the gang figured out a solution.
"Release the Tatum," Kimmel said, and a giant-sized Channing Tatum emerged, his midsection glowing, his hips emitting beams of energy.
Samuel L. Jackson was on hand to deliver the final attack – sending a giant Jenga tower onto the creeps, raising his arms in celebration, the enemy defeated by board game blocks and a trove of celebrities doing comical things.
Two heroic city firefighters pounced on a cleaver-wielding maniac yesterday as he hacked his terrified wife, authorities said.
The bloody attack, outside Fong's Trading at 74 Canal St. in Chinatown, was captured on chilling security video.
Firefighters José Ortiz and James Trainor, who work across the street at Engine Co. 9, Ladder Co. 6, said they first heard the couple screaming at each other and tussling at 10:24 a.m.
"While we were working on the rigs getting ready for our day tour, I saw a man dragging a woman who was crying and screaming down the street," said Ortiz, 51, an 18-year FDNY veteran. "Once I got closer, the man starts hacking at the woman. He hits her six, eight, maybe 10 times. So, we [he and Trainor] bum-rush him and get him against the fence."
CHILLING: Video shows how firefighter José Ortiz helped restrain a man who allegedly savaged his wife yesterday with a meat cleaver.
Gabriella Bass
José Ortiz
The graphic video appears to show the 28-year-old husband, whom cops identified as Ming Guang Huang, repeatedly striking his 24-year-old wife with the cleaver and her struggling to get away as the firefighters rush over.
As Ortiz and Trainor reach the woman, identified by police as Jinyia You, her attacker tosses her aside like a rag doll.
The two firefighters then jump on the attacker and hold him until cops arrive. He's cuffed on the ground, with the cleaver lying next to him.
Ortiz recalled crying out, "Help the lady!" as he and Trainor disarmed the suspect.
But the woman was already running down the street, leaving her thick, wedge shoes — and clumps of bloody hair — behind.
That's when a third firefighter, Shane Clarke, jumped into action.
"I went inside the [fire]house and grabbed a trauma bag" and chased her, Clarke said.
"She was afraid . . . She has a cut on her head and several wounds on her abdomen. She had six to eight cuts, one deep one on the back of her head. That was the one we were most concerned about."
Clarke and two neighborhood cops on patrol finally caught up with her at Division and Eldridge streets, witnesses said.
They calmed her down, administered first aid and called paramedics, according to witnesses.
The woman was listed in critical condition last night at Bellevue Hospital but is expected to survive, officials said.
She suffered several serious defensive wounds on her arms, according to law-enforcement sources.
"She was running down the street screaming, 'Help!' " said witness José Mendez, 56, a local building super.
Before cops and Clarke could reach the woman, she had briefly ducked into a small noodle shop at 13B Eldridge St. as she ran away, witnesses said.
After coming out again, she traveled another half-block before she stopped for Clarke and the officers.
"She was barefoot and went into the restaurant and then ran back out," Mendez said. "There was blood on the window. They cleaned it up right away. It was pretty weird."
Additional reporting by Larry Celona, Wilson Dizard, Kevin Sheehan and David K. Li
kirstan.conley@nypost.com
A look back at some of Q&A's subjects who embrace the art of brevity:
Derek Jeter (July 5, 2009)
Q: Can you envision yourself playing another position for the Yankees than shortstop?
A: Can I envision? No.
Q: What if they asked you?
A: You're speaking in all hypotheticals.
Q: I know.
A: I can't answer that question.
Q: What's your key to stealing bases?
A: If you think you can make it, run. If you don't, stay.
Hakeem Nicks (Sept. 8 2009)
Q: Describe Hakeem Nicks off the field.
A: Laid-back ... calm ... don't say much. I ain't gonna say I stay to myself, but just a laid-back person.
Q: Now describe Hakeem Nicks on the field.
A: Totally opposite from what I am off the field (smiles).
Q: As soon as you put the uniform on, what happens?
A: I'm a different person (smiles).
Yogi Berra (Sept. 19, 2008)
Q: When you were catching, who was the best guy to talk to at home plate?
A: Ted Williams I could talk with. Ted used to get mad at me.
Q: What would you say to him?
A: "Where you going fishin'?"
Q: You did it to distract him?
A: No, I didn't do it to distract him. Just to find out what he does during the winter.
Q; What did Ted Williams say to you?
A: He said, "Shut up."
Q: What did you say?
A; I said, "If you don't talk to me, I'll never talk to you again."
Q: What has it been like being Yogi Berra?
A: I really don't know, I couldn't tell you.
Pedro Martinez (Sept. 19, 2008)
Q: Describe what it's like pitching at this time of year at Yankee Stadium.
A: It's just a regular game.
Q: How about the atmosphere at Yankee Stadium?
A: Don't mean a thing to me.
Q: What's the funniest thing a fan has said to you at Yankee Stadium?
A: Nothing funny. Everything is rude.
Q: When you're on the mound, describe your mentality, your mindset.
A: I can't do that.
Q: Why?
A: 'Cause I'm not giving you tips.
Q: Do you pitch in a controlled rage, would you say?
A: What is this, a psychology test? I'm not commenting about that.
Sebastian Telfar (Sept. 19, 2008)
Q: Are you going to get a new car with your new riches?
A: Not right now, but I'm pretty sure sometime I will.
Q: Any other plans for your money?
A: Get my mother a nice house.
Q: Where?
A: Wherever she wants to move.
Q: The best thing about Coney Island?
A: There's a basketball court on every block.
Q: The worst thing about Coney Island?
A: It's cold, 'cause we're close to the water.
Q; Describe the Cyclone for people who haven't been on it.
A: It's a roller coaster (laughs). It goes fast, and it goes up and down, does a lot of turns.
Getty Images
Pope Benedict XVI delivers his last Angelus Blessing from the window of his private apartment to tens of thousands of people gathered in St. Peter's Square Sunday.
VATICAN CITY — Pope Benedict XVI gave his pontificate's final Sunday blessing from his studio window to the cheers of tens of thousands of people packing St. Peter's Square, but sought to reassure the faithful that he wasn't abandoning the church by retiring to spend his final years in prayer.
The 85-year-old Benedict is stepping down on Thursday evening, the first pope to do so in 600 years, after saying he no longer has the mental or physical strength to lead the world's 1.2 billion Catholics.
But while he has lately looked tired and frail, the crowd filling the cobblestone square seemed to energize him, and he spoke in a clear, strong voice, repeatedly thanking the faithful for their closeness and affection as they interrupted him, again and again, with applause and cheers. Police estimated some 100,000 people turned out.
Benedict told the crowd that God is calling him to dedicate himself "even more to prayer and meditation," which he will do in a secluded monastery being renovated for him on the grounds behind Vatican City's ancient walls.
"But this doesn't mean abandoning the church," he said, as many in the crowd looked sad at his departure from regular view. "On the contrary, if God asks me, this is because I can continue to serve it (the church) with the same dedication and the same love which I have tried to do so until now, but in a way more suitable to my age and to my strength."
The phrase "tried to" was the pope's adlibbed addition to his prepared text.
Benedict has one more public appearance, a Wednesday general audience in St. Peter's Square.
Benedict smiled at the crowd after an aide parted the white curtain at his window, telling the people, "thank you for your affection."
Heavy rain had been forecast for Rome, and some drizzle dampened the square earlier in the morning. But when Benedict appeared, to the peal of church bells as the clock struck noon, blue sky crept through the clouds.
"We thank God for the sun he has given us," the pope said, sounding cheerful.
As cheers continued in the crowd, the pontiff simply turned away from the window and stepped back down into apartment, which he will leave on Thursday, taking a helicopter to the Vatican summer residence in the hills outside Rome while he waits for the monastery to be ready.
A child in the crowd held up a sign on a yellow placard, written in Italian, "You are not alone, I'm with you." Other admirers held homemade signs, saying "Grazie."
No date has yet been set for the start of the conclave of cardinals, who will vote in secret to elect Benedict's successor.
One Italian in the crowd seemed to be doing a little campaigning, hoisting a sign which mentioned the name of two Italian cardinals considered by observers to be potential contenders in the selection of the next pontiff.
Flags in the crowd represented many nations, with a large number from Brazil.
The cardinals in the conclave will have to decide whether it's time to look outside of Europe for a pope.
A look back at some of Q&A's subjects who embrace the art of brevity:
Derek Jeter (July 5, 2009)
Q: Can you envision yourself playing another position for the Yankees than shortstop?
A: Can I envision? No.
Q: What if they asked you?
A: You're speaking in all hypotheticals.
Q: I know.
A: I can't answer that question.
Q: What's your key to stealing bases?
A: If you think you can make it, run. If you don't, stay.
Hakeem Nicks (Sept. 8 2009)
Q: Describe Hakeem Nicks off the field.
A: Laid-back ... calm ... don't say much. I ain't gonna say I stay to myself, but just a laid-back person.
Q: Now describe Hakeem Nicks on the field.
A: Totally opposite from what I am off the field (smiles).
Q: As soon as you put the uniform on, what happens?
A: I'm a different person (smiles).
Yogi Berra (Sept. 19, 2008)
Q: When you were catching, who was the best guy to talk to at home plate?
A: Ted Williams I could talk with. Ted used to get mad at me.
Q: What would you say to him?
A: "Where you going fishin'?"
Q: You did it to distract him?
A: No, I didn't do it to distract him. Just to find out what he does during the winter.
Q; What did Ted Williams say to you?
A: He said, "Shut up."
Q: What did you say?
A; I said, "If you don't talk to me, I'll never talk to you again."
Q: What has it been like being Yogi Berra?
A: I really don't know, I couldn't tell you.
Pedro Martinez (Sept. 19, 2008)
Q: Describe what it's like pitching at this time of year at Yankee Stadium.
A: It's just a regular game.
Q: How about the atmosphere at Yankee Stadium?
A: Don't mean a thing to me.
Q: What's the funniest thing a fan has said to you at Yankee Stadium?
A: Nothing funny. Everything is rude.
Q: When you're on the mound, describe your mentality, your mindset.
A: I can't do that.
Q: Why?
A: 'Cause I'm not giving you tips.
Q: Do you pitch in a controlled rage, would you say?
A: What is this, a psychology test? I'm not commenting about that.
Sebastian Telfar (Sept. 19, 2008)
Q: Are you going to get a new car with your new riches?
A: Not right now, but I'm pretty sure sometime I will.
Q: Any other plans for your money?
A: Get my mother a nice house.
Q: Where?
A: Wherever she wants to move.
Q: The best thing about Coney Island?
A: There's a basketball court on every block.
Q: The worst thing about Coney Island?
A: It's cold, 'cause we're close to the water.
Q; Describe the Cyclone for people who haven't been on it.
A: It's a roller coaster (laughs). It goes fast, and it goes up and down, does a lot of turns.
MONTREAL — Rangers backup goalie Martin Biron is never one to shy away from a conversation, but it's not too often he has to do it in two languages.
Before Saturday night's 3-0 loss to the Canadiens at the Bell Center, Biron prepared for his fourth start of the season by speaking French and English to cameras and reporters that flocked to him like bees on honey.
"It is a special thing for any player coming into Montreal," said Biron, who is from Lac St. Charles, Quebec, about three hours up the St. Lawrence River outside of Quebec City.
"It's fun when you're here. The energy is really high. As a player, you try not to get sucked into the energy so you're out of position and maybe take a penalty. As a goalie, sometimes the energy is great."
That's only for some goalies, which does not include starter Henrik Lundqvist. The reigning Vezina Trophy winner has not performed well throughout his career at the Bell Center, having played 666 minutes with a record of 4-5-2, a 3.87 goals-against average and a .876 save percentage. Saturday night, Biron had 18 saves in 21 shots for just a .833 save percentage.
Lundqvist repeatedly has said the energy in the building gets him too excited to play, and that he can be overanxious and try too hard.
Biron has an answer for that.
"I try to simplify things when I play," Biron said. "A simple game is a great game."
* Coach John Tortorella reviewed the tape from Thursday's 3-2 shootout loss to the Senators in Ottawa, and what stood out to him was the end of the game when the team blew a 2-1 lead. More specifically, he pointed out a holding penalty on Brian Boyle that lead to the game-tying goal from Mika Zibanejad.
"Where I'm little distressed, we didn't close it out," Tortorella said. "We take a stupid penalty, just a lack of positioning. I thought we failed there as far as our heart. It's a great teaching part of it."
Boyle started Saturday night as the center of a fourth line with Brandon Mashinter and Christian Thomas, the latter making his NHL debut. Boyle was also seen leaving the arena with a noticeable limp. He played just 9:36 and had a -1 plus-minus rating.
bcyrgalis@nypost.com
It was only a year ago Jeremy Lin was at the center of the American sports universe, going from a player on the verge of being cut for a third time in a single season to scoring 38 points against Kobe Bryant and the Lakers in the span of a few short weeks.
Now, just 12 months later, Lin is far away from the bright lights of New York and the heights of Linsanity, but still is playing well alongside James Harden in Houston's backcourt.
"I don't really spend much time reminiscing during the season, at least, but it's something that I'm thankful for and will always remember," said Lin, who scored nine points and added six assists in the Nets' 106-96 loss to the Rockets Friday night at Barclays Center. "I realize it's a little over a year ago, and that's just a little crazy to think about, to think about how much it's changed."
It was against the Nets — and, specifically, Deron Williams — that Linsanity began last February, when Lin came off the bench and scored 25 points in just under 36 minutes in a 99-92 Knicks' win at the Garden on Super Bowl Saturday.
But when Lin looked across the court at William, he still saw one of the league's elite point guards, despite the subpar season Williams has put together.
"He's a great, great, point guard," Lin said. "I know people are kind of on him and saying he's having an off-year, but, shoot, I'll take an off-year if it's whatever he's doing and how well he's playing.
"If that's his off-year, that just tells you how good he really is. Obviously his numbers may be down a little, but I think it's just a different role, different team, different style, but I think he's still a top, top point guard in the entire league."
As for Lin, he went through his own fair share of criticism this season when he started out slowly alongside Harden, who took off like a supernova after the Rockets acquired him in a trade with the Thunder just days before the start of the season.
But Harden and Lin have begun to look better together as the season has gone along, something both attributed to having more time to get used to one another. That was never more evident than it was Wednesday against the Thunder, when Harden scored 46 and Lin finished with 29 points, six rebounds and eight assists in a Rockets' win.
"I think with anybody you can't expect two players who like to make their teammates better and like to score the basketball mesh right away," Harden said. "It took us some time, and we're playing well. Last game, he played well and I played well, so it's just a matter of us playing more games, more practices and just communicating better."
When Lin left the Knicks, it looked like he was headed to a young Rockets team that was going to need time to develop to turn into a playoff contender, particularly in the loaded Western Conference, even after it acquired Harden. But Houston (31-26) has surprised everyone — including Lin himself — by spending the first half of the season occupying a playoff spot.
"I think we have exceeded expectations coming in, because no one really knew what to expected," said Lin, who entered the game averaging 12.9 points, 3.5 rebounds, 6.2 assists and 1.9 steals. "We didn't even know what to expect.
"We're happy, but we're definitely not satisfied."
tbontemps@nypost.com
