‘House Of Cards’: Chapter 28 (GALLERY)

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3:56 AM:

On to the second episode of the third season before 4 AM. This is truly a victory. Right now, Claire is trying to prove herself while Frank is dealing with traitor Democrats who don't want him to run. At this hour I need something more than politics to keep me going — bring me more butts!

4:00 AM:

Molly Parker, baby! Looking fierce as fuuuuuck.

4:05 AM:

So Claire blew it at her Senate hearing and the Democratic leadership party, including Jackie Sharp, doesn't want Frank to run. It's our favorite evil power couple against the world now. FYI, I'm about to make a fat cup of coffee.

4:14 AM:

#PowerCoupleMontage. For some reason I think I hear the faint distance of the

Game of Thrones

theme.

4:17 AM:

Meet the new Zoey. She's incredibly annoying. #RIPSlugline

HOLY SHIT PAUSE.

4:18 AM: FRANK UNDERWOOD IS CRYING AND CLAIRE IS GIVING HIM A PITY FUCK. Or is it a pity fuck? Maybe they just finally wanted to fuck without Meechum around. It's super duper weird though to be honest. Guess all those late-night phone calls to Senators really riled them up.

4:19 AM

: Is that Ginuwine we hear in the background? RIDE THAT PONY!

4:23 AM:

So Claire didn't get picked for ambassador. But she ended up buying a bunch of rare eggs from some glorified girl scout instead.

4:30AM

: How To Convince The Government To Take Action, A Play In 3 GIFs.

Step One: Use broad, sweeping hand gestures to distract your foes.

4:30AM

: How To Convince The Government To Take Action, A Play In 3 GIFs.

Step Two: Point with your pointy finger to insure you know that it's them that you're talking to.

4:30AM

: How To Convince The Government To Take Action, A Play In 3 GIFs.

Step Three: Drop the F-Bomb with the force of ten thousand hurricanes.

END SCENE.

4:37 AM:

Did he say $500 billion? Turning on the closed captioning now. This speech is KICK ASS though. And this whole America Works bill seems like it could actually work.

4:40:

Wait, can we talk about how much I hate Seth. He's the Underwoods' latest bitch and sent to spy on poor Doug. If him and Benedict Cumberbatch were long lost snake brothers, I would't be surprised.

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