Thirty years to the week after "When Harry Met Sally,'' Rob Reiner directs the excruciating, mawkish and interminable romantic dramedy "And So It Goes'' with shocking ineptitude.
Just how awful can a movie be with Oscar winners Michael Douglas and Diane Keaton — from the co-writer of "As Good as It Gets''? So terrible that I was embarrassed for everyone involved.
That sinking feeling begins in the first scene, when Douglas arrives in a white Mercedes convertible at the cemetery to visit his late wife, who he later tells us was "dying three years of cancer.''
He's an embittered real estate salesman who belittles any prospect who isn't interesting in paying $8.3 million for his Connecticut mansion so he can retire to Vermont.
Douglas and Keaton fail to charm in the dismal rom-com, "And So It Goes."Photo: Clarius Entertainment
Douglas also spews insults at his co-workers and his fellow residents at an apartment building he owns. Though he allows that the latest arrival, a weepy widow (Keaton), "sings nice.''
When an ex-addict son from whom he's been long estranged stops by on the way to prison to drop off a 10-year-old granddaughter (Sterling Jerins) he never knew existed, Douglas is content to dump the kid's care on Keaton.
That is, when he isn't trying to get into Keaton's pants or manage her faltering career as a lounge singer.
Reiner encourages Douglas to go way over-the-top, and allows Keaton to be unflatteringly photographed most of the time. Scene after scene is poorly staged.
A couple of them — Douglas' attempt to return his granddaughter to her drug-addled mom, and another character giving birth on a couch — are as jaw-droppingly awful as anything I've seen in a wide-release film in years.
"And So It Goes'' appears to be targeting an audience segment that rarely goes out to the movies — while providing them a cringe-worthy incentive to never do so again.
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