It sounds like a horrible thing to say, but it really is a good thing that Lou Reed is dead. If he had lived to see Macaulay Culkin and the Pizza Underground, it would have been too much for the old guy to bear.
The band has enjoyed some hipster buzz due primarily to the fact that the "Home Alone" star is a member, but when they played at Brooklyn Night Bazaar on Friday night, you could feel the buzz disintegrate with every passing second. The five members took to the stage wearing sunglasses and irritating smirks before playing a 20 minute set of pizza-themed Velvet Underground/Lou Reed songs. Hilarity did not ensue.
"Perfect Day" was rewritten as "Pizza Day," "White Light/White Heat" became "White Slice," and… well, you get the idea. Musically, the central instruments were a keyboard, a pizza box and a guitar so out of tune that it sounded like a cat with tonsillitis humping another cat with a slightly worse case of tonsillitis. It's a style that descends from the deliberately ramshackle East Village anti-folk scene of the late '90s and early '00s. Don't feel bad if you have never heard of it because most of the bands from that era were awful anyway.
In fairness, the Pizza Underground were at least committed to playing their characters. Singer Phoebe Kreutz affected a mock German accent as she pretended to be Andy Warhol's muse Nico, while Deenah Vollmer put down the pizza box to do a half-decent impression of Velvet Underground drummer Maureen Tucker during the re-working of "After Hours." Her reward was to almost get struck by a bottle thrown by an annoyed member of the crowd.
For his part, Culkin kept his musical talent hidden until the end when he played a toy trumpet solo on "Take A Bite Of The Wild Slice." Although many had left by that point, the remaining audience rewarded him with a cheer that was partly drunken enthusiasm, but mostly just pity.
It's all meant to be a joke of course, but watching the Pizza Underground is like watching someone tell the same joke over and over again until it becomes enraging. Don't give them the satisfaction of hating them, though. That would mean they win in their attempts to be provocative. The Pizza Underground are a band that should be ignored — nothing more and nothing less. You really don't need a picture of the kid from "Home Alone" enough to endure this.
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